Jokes Discussion

I feel sorry for the old lady that got stepped on during Black Friday.
I feel even worse about the old lady that gets stepped on during Cyber Monday.

Can you belive those idiots camp near shops for days just to buy some crap for less?It's like products own the people.

I know some people that actually waited in line for a few days just to get Black Ops.

How sad...

Guy in my class went to the shop at midnight to get it and other one missed like whole 2 days of school to play it lmao

Tommy Lee Jones!

here some winter jock:

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"

The man on the phone responded, "This winter is going to be quite cold indeed."

So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the
winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

ROFL

Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?

A: You have to hollow out the head.
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A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm.
He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it. At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out!
He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and eat it

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into s**t is your enemy

2. Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend

3. If you are in s**t, keep your mouth shut

LOL,loved the first one.


One day, Jesus and the Devil were both working on their computers. Jesus was typing away. The Devil was typing away.

Suddenly a huge blackout filled heaven and hell. When the lights came back on, Jesus picked up right where he left off, but the Devil's screen was black. Satan says, "How could this happen? I did everything Jesus did!"

Then one person in Hell says, "No, Jesus Saves."

[NWA]oOo_ROOCKY_oOo wrote:

A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm.
He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it. At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out!
He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and eat it

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into s**t is your enemy

2. Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend

3. If you are in s**t, keep your mouth shut

I heard that one so many times I'm getting sick of it now

I heard that one so many times I'm getting sick of it now

Same lol.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Rofl!

Lmao, good one

[NWA]Ali_G wrote:A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Loooooool the owner got owned

"Made love to my wife. She demanded a refund."

What do you get when you mix country with rap?

Crap.

What do you get when you mix fire with truck? A boom

Levels in Karate:

First dane
Second dane
Zidane
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A husband and wife are driving in a car with around 80km/h:

Wife: Honey, i got something to admit, i'm cheating you for 15 years, thats why i want a divorce.

The husband doesn't respond just increases the speed to 100km/h

Wife: I want to keep the house.

Speed on 120km/h

Wife: I want to keep the kids

Speed on 140km/h

Wife: What about you, you want something?

Husband: Nothing i got everything i need...

Wife: How?? What is that?

The husband increases the speed on 180km/h and points on a tree and says:

An Air Bag!

LoL

Egyptian woman wanted to kill herself, slept on the railway and Unclenches her leg, on the second day in the newspaper written (disappearance of a train in mysterious circumstances)

o.o